You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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