I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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