dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
