I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
