billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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