He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize