this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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