The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I did not marry a roomba.
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