And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
