Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
