i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
