I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize