Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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