in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on