Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.

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  (305): alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog. http://tfl.nu/iy0a
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises

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  (905): So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises http://tfl.nu/ed2j
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

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  (508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

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  (970): I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina http://tfl.nu/bmhg
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom

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  (608): i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/an7n
  Replies (57) Good night (596) Bad night (5045) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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  (704): I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow http://tfl.nu/jea1
  Replies (18) Good night (4067) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve

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  (580): Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve http://tfl.nu/obez
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.

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  (218): Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion. http://tfl.nu/1y37
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?

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  (647): Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public? http://tfl.nu/9yr1
  Replies (33) Good night (1456) Bad night (4474) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.

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  (443): THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT. http://tfl.nu/04d2
  Replies (14) Good night (5047) Bad night (1424) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3207) Bad night (679)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.

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  (401): No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions. http://tfl.nu/2pla
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  (281): View more from Texas

  that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.

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  (281): that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms. http://tfl.nu/qnq5
  Replies (18) Good night (1737) Bad night (703)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.

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  (941): oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed. http://tfl.nu/cdno
  Replies (5) Good night (1203) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option

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  (734): There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option http://tfl.nu/svkl
  Replies (4) Good night (639) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt

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