So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."