This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
