I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no, he came in my armpit
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
