i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
