If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
