I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
