Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
