we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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