sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
