The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
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He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
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If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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