he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
