Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
