Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
