he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
