So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
