We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
