You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
