i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
