went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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