Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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