I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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