Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
