It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
