I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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