so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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