don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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