Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
