i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
