I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
