thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
