I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
