So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
