i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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