i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
