Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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