If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
