Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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