i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
