Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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