You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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