its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
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