Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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