There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
