She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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