How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
