All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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