But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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