I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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