Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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