I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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