You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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